


The Prologue Of The Epilogue

by nhasablog



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 17:22:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17533001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: Jim died and then he came back and now he’s not okay, so Bones tries to help him at least a little bit.





	The Prologue Of The Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna delete my tumblr, so I'm posting a bunch of fics people have requested that never ended up here. I hope you like this! Feel free to unsubscribe to escape the email notifs lmao (but come back in, like, a week because ily)
> 
> Also since I'm posting so many things I'm not gonna read through them all, so if you feel like something needs a trigger warning (I usually remember what fics do, but might forget) please tell me

Being in space for five years was likely to make you go insane, they said. The isolation and homesickness and constant moving while still being in a contained space would mess with your head, they said.

“That’s why the crew is so big,” Pike had told him once. “To keep the illusion of a normal life. The mission will keep you motivated while you work, but the occasional lack of hope might break you. Actually, a lot of things might break you, and you need each other to keep up the faith.”

Only Jim ended up not asking for help when it became too much, and isolated himself even more once he came back from the dead. Some would say he threw himself into his work, and while that was true, it wasn’t the healthiest of coping mechanisms. It simply seemed that way to the outsider, who thought he was a dedicated captain and did everything for his crew, but they didn’t see the sleepless nights or glasses of whiskey. They didn’t see the whirlwind of a mind he had to carry around with him on his already heavy shoulders.

But Bones noticed. Of course he did.

Jim had seen the extra long looks he’d been sending him. Had seen him bite the inside of his cheek when Jim insisted on spending yet another night locked in his room. He was expecting his friend to speak up, and thus wasn’t surprised when he pulled him into medbay for a regular check up even though it hadn’t been too long since the last time they’d done it. Jim was surprised he hadn’t done this sooner.

“How have you been feeling?” he asked, once it was clear that physically Jim was doing better than ever, somehow.

“I-” he started, cutting himself off to clear his suddenly dry throat. “Well, I know you know I’m not doing too well.”

“I know.”

“I’m not sure I can explain why.”

“You don’t have to.”

Jim frowned, glared at the ceiling, glared at his feet, and then turned to stare helplessly at his friend. “I don’t want this.”

Bones shifted, never once breaking eye contact. “Specify this.”

“This… thing happening to me. I was never like this before.”

“What you went through wasn’t easy.”

“I’m not the first one to go through something traumatic.”

“We all cope in our own ways, and usually they’re invisible unless you’re paying attention.”

Jim tilted his head. “You’re paying attention.”

“Of course I am.”

“I wish I weren’t such a burden to you.” Those were words he’d never uttered, but had always been thinking.

Bones’ eyebrows met his hairline. “Burden? Kid, you walk around thinking you’re a  _ burden _ ?”

He shrugged. “You had to continuously look out for me from day one. I practically forced you to be friends with me. Would you do this voluntarily if you thought you had a choice?”

“In a heartbeat.”

They were silent, Jim looking at the wall while Bones still looked at him. Dying had done a lot of things, but it had made him ten times more aware of how he affected people’s lives. How much stress he brought into them.

“I died,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. “And then I came back. That can’t have been easy for anyone.”

“Do you know how much harder it would’ve been if you’d stayed dead? Hell, I’d bring you back myself just to yell at you for it.”

A surprised laugh bubbled up Jim’s throat. “I have no doubts you would. And you quite honestly  _ did  _ bring me back. Did I ever thank you for that?”

“You don’t have to.”

“Thank you.”

Bones gave his knee a squeeze. “Stop it. I said you don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

“You also want to let your darkness consume you, but I won’t let you do that either.”

“So demanding.”

“Someone has to.”

The mood was lighter, but Jim still had things he needed to share. It was hard to stop now that he’d started. “Can I tell you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“I promised myself to never sleep with a crew member unless actual feelings were involved.”

“And how is that working out for you?”

“Good. Still haven’t slept with anyone, but now I just feel-”

“Frustrated?”

“Lonely.”

“Ah.”

“I long for… something.”

“Do feelings play a part in this?” Bones was fishing for a truth Jim wasn’t ready to confess to, even to himself. He crossed his arms, not understanding why his cheeks were suddenly burning.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “I just crave, well, intimacy, I guess. As cheesy as that sounds.”

“This mission is isolating. There’s no shame in needing things.”

“It’s not even about sex, really. I just long for a playful safety.”

“Playful, huh.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had too serious encounters recently.”

“I see.”

That was a hint, and Bones got it, but he was clearly determined to have Jim spell it out for him. Purely to see him blush. It was a game they’d played often.

Jim hadn’t realized he was about to barge in here and ask for this until now, when the hint mingled with his words about an entirely different topic, but he should’ve known it was one of the things he’d been deprived of. It was something so easily accessible that all he had to to was to find the courage to request it.

He uncrossed his arms. Giving Bones options. “I think I need a good laugh.”

“Don’t we all.”

“No sex needs to be involved, really. I just need something simple.”

“Is that so?”

Okay, Bones was  _ not  _ having this avoiding the actual question thing. Damn him.

“I think what I need is a tickle fight.”

“Oh?”

“Maybe fight is the wrong word for it.”

“Elaborate.”

“I want it to be one sided. I want to be on the receiving end.” He shook his head. “Dammit, Bones, I want you to tickle me.”

Bones’ eyes widened in an over exaggerated version of surprise. “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning?”

Maybe being turned into a giggly, incoherent mess wouldn’t solve a single one of Jim’s problems, but he appreciated it anyway. Appreciated the momentary distraction. Appreciated the teamwork that went into the whole thing, with Jim doing his utmost to not get away while Bones did all he could to get him to enjoy himself. Appreciated how much easier it was to breathe afterward.

“Shit!” he cried, his opening line whenever Bones pinned him and got him real good. After that came taunts of how he couldn’t handle it, followed by subtle begging that left out any requests for this to stop, which would of course be accompanied by the observation that he didn’t want this to end. They had played their roles in this play before, and what a play it was.

A brief interlude would take place, where Bones would back off to let him breathe and smile so gently and knowingly at him that Jim would turn even redder, and the play would continue just before he was able to stutter out some sort of embarrassed protest about what Bones was implicating.

It would end as it always did, with Bones going for his worst spots simultaneously, not pinning him anymore but letting him thrash around freely and desperately as he finished the job, and as the curtain fell Jim would be gasping for air and feeling lighter than before.

If fingers on his skin, teasing the most sensitive spots and refusing to stop as his body squirmed automatically was the answer, then he reckoned it was a good one for now.


End file.
